Review: Best Served Cold

Best Served Cold by Joe Abercrombie

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



They paid her to kill.

They paid her to win.

But they did not pay her to die.

Styria is a country on a knife-edge. Grand Duke Orso stands to one side of the blade, on the other, the League of Eight. One little slip…and there’ll be blood.

Monza Murcatto has walked her fair share of knife-edge moments. The Snake of Talins, the most feared and famous mercenary in Duke Orso’s employ. She climbed her way to the top of the popularity mountain, and in doing so has become a popular enemy for the League of Eight…and too popular for the Duke’s liking.

Sometimes it’s not enough to slip on a knife’s edge…it’s about being thrown off of a mountain. Literally.

Left for dead after being pushed from a cliff, Monza sets out on a mission to take what is owed to her. Joined by a man infamous for his death-defying drunken debacles, a poisoner looking out for number one, a prisoner looking out for whatever number he rolls next, and a Northman who’s number is up and is just out to do the right thing, Monza is about to discover that she’s playing the minor part in a greater game.

There’s a lot of parts in the great game of life, but…

The best part of betrayal?

Revenge.


Joe Abercrombie’s ‘Best Served Cold’ is a standalone novel set after his debut trilogy ‘The First Law’. ‘Best Served Cold’ is a story of redemption, revelry, and red-handed revenge.

In ‘Best Served Cold’, Monza Murcatto is a woman in demand. But not just any old demand, she’s at popular demand for her victories as Grand Duke Orso’s mercenary. But popularity isn’t all its cut out to be, and after Grand Duke Orso demands her death, Monza is betrayed. Clinging to life by her fingernails, Monza sets out with her own demand. A demand for revenge.

Though Monza is the key character of ‘Best Served Cold’, her companions proved to be just as pivotal to the plot. Friendly the ex-prisoner, the two poisoners (Master & Apprentice), Shivers the Northman, the mysterious Vitari, and the infamous Nicomo Cosca. Each plays such a part that the entire story could be about them, if not for the whole ‘Monza DEMANDS revenge’ piece. Cosca, Shivers and Vitari are familiar faces for those of you who have read ‘The First Law’, but each is fresh-faced (well…maybe not Shivers by the end of the book *wink*wink*) and ready to go in ‘Best Served Cold’, making for some interesting character developments.

Abercrombie, as ever, has a mastery of cinematic writing. The fight scenes are epic, bordering obscene, but you could easily imagine them on the ‘big screen’. Sex, violence, murder – and that’s just in the first few chapters. The ‘Revenge’ plot has been done time and time again in fantasy books, but ‘Best Served Cold’ drags the reader kicking and screaming down familiar corridors to an unexpected end. Though the pace of the plot slips at points, I found that the characters carried the story of their own accord.

I came away from ‘Best Served Cold’ with two black eyes. At first because the book beat the living day lights out of me with its relentless bloody-mindedness, and two because I spent both daylight and night reading it I was that hooked. It’s not for the fainthearted that’s for sure!

Best Served…? Cold blooded killers don’t come colder than this.




View all my reviews

Review: Last Argument of Kings

Last Argument of Kings by Joe Abercrombie

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



In the end everyone gets what they deserve.

A shift of power has come to the Union. The King lies on his deathbed. The nobility scramble for their claim to the throne, as the peasants revolt to snatch their freedoms.

Good men are needed to set right the balance of power. If only Inquisitor Glokta could balance long enough on his crippled legs and stick to relieve himself, let alone tilt the scales in the favour of the many.

Jezal Dan Luthar understands the needs of the many – but he rathers the needs of the few. A few being namely one. Himself. Abandoning his quests for glory and betterment, he turns to love and its pursuit. Though, the pursuit of glory might have been an easier chase after all…

Logen Ninefingers is tired or running, chasing, hiding. As his father said, ‘Once you've got a task to do, it's better to do it than live with the fear of it’. So it’s time to go back to the North, to do one last battle, to face his friends and enemies – and he goes with the greatest of both at his side, for the Bloody Nine goes with him.

In the end a man finds his measure. He set his own rules, and breaks them. But there is no rule more terrible to break than ‘The First Law’ itself…


Joe Abercrombie’s ‘The Last Argument of Kings’ is the finale for his ‘The First Law’ series. ‘The Last Argument of Kings’ is an ending fit for a king.

In ‘The Last Argument of Kings’, everyone gets what they deserve. Our favourite cast of miscreants is thrown to the dogs one last time, fighting for all their worth. In true Abercrombie fashion, the characters kick-bite-gnaw-and-scratch their way through the novel. As a reader, I urged them on, glorying with them in their victories (no matter how slight), and mourning in their losses. It’s an ode to a great storyteller that you want a character to win, and Abercrombie certainly knows how to keep that last triumph just out of reach.

The fight scenes up until this point have been fantastic. Now, they’re epic. Abercrombie zooms in and out of his POV characters, providing a bird’s-eye view of the battles, whilst maintaining empathy for individuals caught in the middle of it all. The line between good and evil is blurred in the mud and the blood of the battle, and we’re reminded that the battles are fought between men, each with their own decisions be they good or bad.

With so many ties strewn about the plot, Abercrombie masterfully weaves them into a masterpiece. Drawing on threads two-books old, the final twists and turns will leave the reader wanting more, even after the satisfactory close.

True to his ‘realistic’ approach, Abercrombie closes the book on several characters’ stories, whilst leaving room for further exploits with others. Though some fans and readers may find this bittersweet, I like it. I mean, just because the words stop doesn’t mean that these characters stop living, does it?

‘The Last Argument of Kings’ is one of the books where you curse yourself because you should’ve seen it coming – but you didn’t. But make sure you don’t miss out by not chancing it a read!




View all my reviews

Review: The Rescue

The Rescue by Diane Strong

My rating: 3 of 5 stars



Before I begin, let me say that I received a free copy of 'The Rescue' in return for a review.

'The Rescue'...well, it's different. Very different. Not my usual sort of thing, but I did indeed finish it in a single sitting, easily devoured during my lunch break. It's 'out there'. It's straight up, to the point. No wasted time with over descriptions.

Character wise...well, it can be difficult to fully realise your characters in a short story, but I think Diane Strong did well with her constricts.

The plot was, again, different. Certainly thriller-esque. Reads like the victim-POV from an episode of 'Bones' almost.

I think everyone will come away with their own opinions of 'The Rescue', so I recommend that you read it before you judge the book by its cover. Fans of Diane Strong will enjoy.



View all my reviews

Review: Before They Are Hanged

Before They Are Hanged by Joe Abercrombie

My rating: 3 of 5 stars



Ferro’s hatred drives her.

Jezal’s ego lures him.

Logen’s fear stills him.

…but the fear of the Bloody-Nine will see them through. Angland is overrun by the Northmen, Dagoska is surrounded by Gurkish, and Adua is about to be brought down from within. Pulled in three separate directions, the fate of the Union lies in the hands of a divided few. Whilst Crown Prince Ladisla straightens his best uniform for a dinner date on the battlefield, Inquisitor Glokta works his crippled legs to ‘march’ to war.

And all this hangs in the balance of a rabble’s quest…

A quest for heroes, men of courage, valour and conscience. Funnily enough, neither Ferro, Jezal nor Logen boast the desired qualities. Even if they can overcome their desires to kill each other, uncover the secrets of the past, and locate the key to their survival, they still have to make it back in one piece.

…better to hang a hope on a rabble, than to hang from the noose...


Joe Abercrombie’s ‘Before They Are Hanged’ is the sequel to his debut novel ‘The Blade Itself’, and the second book ‘The First Law’ series. ‘Before They Are Hanged’ is a hard-fought hard-earned story of ancient secrets, old foes, and fresh blood.

In ‘Before They Are Hanged’, the reader is plunged straight into the deep-end. Embattled on both north and south fronts, the Union struggles to keep its head out of the water. The plot is wide and wonderful, encompassing a journey to new-ends, a bitter fight to the end, and a charge to glory on the battlefield.

Old characters are unmistakeable in their weathered and worn guises, pumped up with the blood of a good scrap. Add to the already colourful cast an artist’s palette of pompous Princes, traitorous Underlings, and a helping of sell-out Merchants, and you’re sure to be in for a rip-roaring performance.

Abercrombie set the standard with his quirky prose in ‘The Blade Itself’ and continues it into ‘Before They Are Hanged’. However, I did find parts of ‘Before They Are Hanged’ a little slower than its predecessor, something of a slog at times. I’ll give it its due though, the promise of things yet to come is more than enough to keep any reader on board for the finale.

To win or to lose, it hangs in the balance…only blood can tip the favour.




View all my reviews

Creative Writing 101: Critique aka Swallowing Fire.

    Be it a pat on the back or a 'smack upside your head', critique can leave you shell-shocked. Ah, critique, critical thinking and delivery of a response warranted by the impact of a subject's work. Layman's terms: opinion and advice on how to take your work to the next level, in the critique's opinion.

     Now, good critique is different for everyone. Some people need an extra spoon full of sugar with their review-brew, whilst others don't mind having their work torn to shreds for the sake of improvement. 'Good critique' has to be tailored to an individual, but seeing as I can't tell you how to submit or receive critique for each writer/artist, I'm going to give you a broad brush approach that won't get you hung, drawn and quartered.

How to Give Good Critique:

     Hope. Give a writer hope that there is promise in their work. No matter how had a piece is, it has potential. But, if you trash the creator and rip them a proverbial 'new one', how are they going to realise their hopes and dreams?

     Hope:
Honest – don't sugar coat everything, but don't poison a perfectly good mouthful. Be honest, be fair.
Opinion – remember, the work you are critiquing has stemmed from an idea, and opinions clash. What might be right for you might not be right for everyone.
Purpose – give your review direction. Either critique chronologically (start to finish) or by means of headings (characters, technique, plot etc.). Make sure its constructive yet critical - that's the purpose of critique after all, right?
Evaluation – have you weighed up the goods and the bads at the end? Not everything is bad, point out the strengths, consider the weaknesses.

     Bad critique is horrible. It's when someone smashes a writer to smithereens just for the sake of it. Yes, some may want to watch the world burn, but be fair…only go so far as to push them onto hot coals and make them dance for their money's worth! Good critique will give a writer the helping hand to the next stage. Don't forget: one man's story is another's life. What you say might directly offend or upset someone.

How to Accept Critique…Good?

     Thank your critiquer. Sounds odd trying to tell someone how to accept critique. But, you'd be surprised how many writers and artists react poorly to critique. Yes, it can be hard when you've got a rabid pit bull of a reviewer gnawing at the very bones of your greatest masterpiece (TO DATE!), but shaking it off is only to making the bleed worse. Don't be a sore loser if you're shortfalls are laid bare to you. But, then again, don't be a sore winner if you're heaped with praise! 

     Thank:
Timeliness – look, think of it this way: there are thousands of stories/pieces out there and someone took the time to discover, inspect and review yours. The least you can do is offer them a timely response…not three months down the line when they've moved on.
Humility – you're not god's gift to life, the Adonis of art, the Perseus of poetry, and so on. Take praise in your stride, as you would critique. Don't let it go to your head, as you'll take a fall when someone rips the carpet out from underneath you, and it'll hurt all the more with a swollen brainbox!
Acceptance – you're not the greatest for everyone. You never will be. You CAN NOT please everyone. So when someone points out a fault, or something that they don't like…fix it or move on.
Never argue back – if someone has ruined you in a critique, thank them and move on. Don't argue. You're lowering yourself to their level, and you're about to upset them (and possibly others) as much as they have upset you.
Know when to change – Sure, spelling mistakes and grammar need to be dealt with, but if it's a question of style…ask yourself, do you want to change your work to please someone else, or would you rather keep doing what you enjoy?

     Wow, now don't I feel like some sort of agony aunt? I hope that this has been an eye opener, and you'll keep my points in mind when you next turn to receiving or submitting critique. Remember, we're all part of a wider community, an artist community, and we don't just have an audience, we have peers!

     Anyhow, I'm off to go sharpen a few wooden stakes and dig a few holes, before any of you miscreants come charging over to give me a piece of your mind!

Review: The Blade Itself

The Blade Itself by Joe Abercrombie

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



A life of debauchery for the nobleman.

A life of pain for the torturer.

A life of blood for the barbarian.

Not much of a heroes hall, is it? Heroes are needed to defend against the growing threat from the Northmen and their alliance with the feral Shanka. Heroes are needed to root out the evil lurking in the heart of Adua, the Union’s Capital. Captain Jezal Dan Luthar, noble swordsman and promising officer, might just be the hero that the hour calls for – if only he can keep his breakfast down on his morning run. Inquisitor Glotka, ex-soldier of esteem and renown turned upholder of justice, might be able to uncover the dark secrets amongst the shadow of conspiracy – if his crippled body will let him mount the stairs without falling flat on his face. And Logen Ninefingers, infamous barbarian of the North, might just stand a second chance…if his bloodied past would just leave him be.

Each has a part to play, whether they know or like it.

Sometimes it’s not about turning the other cheek, nor is it about hitting first or hardest – its about sliding the knife in at the right moment and giving it a good, hard twist.


Joe Abercrombie’s ‘The Blade Itself’ is his debut novel, and the opening novel to his ‘The First Law’ series. ‘The Blade Itself’ is a bloody and bloodied tale of high hopes and stakes, dashed dreams and brains, and more knives than a battalion of butchers.

In ‘The Blade Itself’, everyone seems to in over their heads. Logen Ninefingers is somehow roped into accompanying a returned-from-the-ancient-past Arch Magi to the capital of civilisation. Inquisitor Glokta is chasing at shadows, marking smugglers and scriveners as traitors and conspirators. And Jezal Dan Luthar, who wants nothing more than to get drunk and wile away the nights in a buxom bosom, but has somehow ended up training for the grand tournament. The plot itself is twisted on itself, but its characters’ interactions that make the story.

A barbarian, a torturer and a nobleman walk into a bar…sounds like the start to a bad joke? Wrong. It’s the start of a really good story. In ‘The Blade Itself’, the veritable menagerie of characters are led into the depths of plot twists and turns, played like puppets at their own game. Other members of the cast are just as colourful, particularly the ‘Named Men’ from the North.

Abercrombie writes with a quick wit and a sharp tongue. His prose is refreshing, different, conversational even. At times it’s like being sat across the fireside from the writer at a campout, at others it’s as if you’re behind the eyes of each character. He dips into the darker side of humanity – or inhumanity in some cases – not afraid to pull the punches on just how low that some are willing to sink to. And the fight scenes…! Bloodied and bloody, if the printers ran out of ink, they could squeeze the pages and use the red stuff instead.

Say one thing about Joe Abercrombie, say he’s a dab hand with a blade as well as a pen. You’ll be sure to read ‘The Blade Itself’ as fast as if a knife was hovering at your neck.




View all my reviews

Creative Writing 101: Tools of the Trade aka Rome wasn't built in a day!

     Rome wasn’t built in a day. Heck, it would’ve have been built at all without the rights tools and materials. Minus the stone, wood, manpower and hammers, what would have been made? A rough circle in the dirt?

     Writing is very much the same. You’re going to need plot lines, characters, scenes, landscapes, etc. etc. But today’s journal is going back to the foundation of writing. Imagine settling down to write…you pick up your pen – it’s run out of ink. You fetch a new pen, but the clicker is broken on this one. Fine, settle for a pencil, but there’s no paper and the lead is broken anyway. You’re reduced to scratching chalk on slate until it rains and washes away your epic, bestselling, genre-breaking novel.

     Take your seats class. Today we’re going back to basics. We’re going to discuss what a writer needs in this day and age to craft his/her masterpiece. Now, you might have differing opinions to mine here, and please feel free to share them below, but this is more of an ‘ingredients list’ for the writer, rather than the story.

     Firstly, you’re going to need a way of ‘rough writing’. This to me is first drafting, word-for-word, raw and unedited story-goodness. I prefer to write this in a notebook as I like the feel of paper and pen, but feel free to use whatever you life. Some write straight onto PC/Laptop, others use sheets of paper – whatever your fancy!

     I’ve just mentioned the old pc/laptop – and you’re going to need it. With it, you’ll need a good word processing program (MS word being the most popular). It may seem like I’m teaching you to suck eggs here, but, it’ll spot typos for you, and it’s a MUST for ease of editing. Try to type up your work as often and as soon as possible, as hard copies (stuff written in notepads) have a habit of getting lost, damaged, or in my case used as kindling when out on exercise with the Army.

     Now, you’ve got the materials to record your story, but what about the little ideas that pop up here and there? I carry a small notebook on me at all times. AND if all else fails? I use my phone. The iPhone has a handy ‘Notepad’ app that I populate with more story ideas than contacts in my phone. Back in the day, when all I had was one of those trusty Nokia’s that would’ve sustained a gunshot, I was known to text myself to save ideas for later.

     Right, it’s all falling into place! You’ve got hard and soft copies of your work, and a collection of notebooks strewn about the place to keep your writing going. Last, but definitely not least, you’re going to need a BACK UP! HUGELY important. I have several, and I implore you to do the same.

     Personally, for my backups I have: multiple folder structures on my laptop, emailed documents on several accounts, and a ‘Cloud’ (online storage – a must have). I also have a USB, which may not be all that reliable because I leave it in my pocket at all times (and it’s not as if I have a regular office job), but I do plan to invest in an external Hard Drive to keep the rest of the digitals safe. As with copying up from rough to good, your backups should be kept up to date.

     Other things that are useful to have to hand:
A pen…ok, I’ll take this more seriously!
Sketch paper – I find drawing diagrams helps me picture certain scenes, or the layout of a room.
Squared paper – for maps (oh, and for playing noughts and crosses with whoever’s about).
Music – for me it helps get the creative mindset in gear.
Internet connection – don’t let it distract you, but this is crucial for research.

     There we go. Very billy basics, but I thought this would be a fitting return to my ‘Creative Writing 101’ journal entries after a short break. If you have anything to add to this list, feel free to do so below in the comments section. Thank you all for stopping by, and next week we’ll continue as per usual.