Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Character Creation 101: The Fleshy Bits aka Quit Peeking!




     It was his upbringing…you can’t blame a boy after he was raised like that. But one does not simply walk into Mordor. You’d have to pay a fair penny for that to happen. Maybe that’s why he did it. For the money. Plenty o’ them celebrity-peoples do it for the money. What about Tinkers, tailors, soldiers and spies? Though, wasn’t it Colonel Mustard in the dining room with the candlestick? Don’t get me started on candles!

     Though the above sounds like the ramblings of a madman…ok, I’m not even going to try and defend it. It is what it is. HOWEVER, the point I’m trying to get across is the thought process going into creating a character. So you’ve got the name and you’ve got your tags from my last two blog posts, but now it’s time to breathe life into your characters.

     Let’s start from the top.

     History – the upbringing, the old, the new, the current. Everything that happens to a person shapes them in one way or another. This isn’t so much as their ‘destined path’ in life, but more their mood, attitude, likes and dislikes. Take the stereotypical ‘raised by wolves’ character. They grow up to be a little wild, rough around the edges, sometimes a bit of a loner. This fits with the upbringing. Now, if said characters was raised by wolves BUT was a debonair fop, blue-eyed, baby-faced, and able to use every utensil at the kitchen table whilst being able to concentrate long enough to eat with his mouth closed…then either the wolves were well versed in mealtime etiquette or there is another side to his history that we do not know. Sometimes it’s not necessary to explore the entirety of a character’s back story, but we were all young once.

     Motivations – what’s made the character act as they do? Not so much as in history, but why are they currently involved. Queen and country? Money? Fame? To get the girl/guy/Colonel Mustard? Revenge? A motivation can be anything, but it’s something that helps the reader connect to that character, and to relate to them. It turns a character into a being, a person. Take Luke Skywalker for example. He wanted revenge, peace, and a new haircut amongst other things.

     Methods – Everyone has their own methods. How they think, how they act. Most importantly, how do they REACT? Problem engagement and solution is critical to a story. I mean, that’s what a story is. A problem, and an account of how it is overcome (or not in some cases). Your character needs a clear-cut method of copy with things. This could be from having a berserker-like rage that sees them through the bloodiest of battles, to a severe arachnophobia handled only by the trance state of believing themselves to be a rolled-up newspaper. Put simply, your character is a priest. How do they respond to being attacked? Turn the other cheek (not literally…well…), preach the wrongs of their attackers’ actions, beseech mercy? Who knows, your priest could be a Warrior-Monk who beats 50-shades-of-whoop-ass into any who dares raise a hand to them.

     Functions – your character….do they have a function? Are they important to the story? Or have you just made them up for the heck of it? If they serve no function…chop them. It’s fine to have a background characters, or someone who acts as a plot device, but if your guy/gal is only there as eye-candy why not tie that role into someone else? That way you’ll have One more fleshed-out character rather than two sacks of bone and gristle.

     Purposes – what does your character want in life? Tied closely to Motivations, a Purpose is the long or current goals for that character. Save the world in time for tea? Go to the shops before they’re old? Giving a character a goal helps share a sense of achievement with the reader. I mean, we’re all going somewhere, right?...hello?

     Opinions – everyone has a right to their own opinion, and no opinion is ever wrong. This to an author is like handing a kid a box of matches and telling them to go play in the hay barn. Your character can have an opinion on anything, and their actions will be shaped thus. Look at Spiderman. ‘With Great Power comes Great Responsibility.’ Now, look at the Oracle in the Matrix Reloaded. ‘What do all men with power want? More power.’ CONFLICT = ACTION. ACTION = DRAMA. DRAMA = SUSPENSE. SUSPENSE = CLIFF HANGERS. CLIFF HANGERS = MORE BOOKS. MORE BOOKS = ….repetitive stress injury.

     After looking into the above, ensure that your characters are consistent in their ‘lives’, and develop how the world shapes them. External and internal factors make us the people that we are, and that goes the same for your fictional friends. Make them different, don’t be afraid to set them aside from the pack. Give them depth, a reason for existence, connectivity.

     And if all else, fails…I know a girl in a red hood who’s grandmother can school anyone in table-side manners.

D. E. M. Emrys. Author. Soldier by day, Soldier by night - Writer in Between. 
Author of Heroic Fantasies:

From Man to Man - Currently FREE from Amazon

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Review: Theft of Swords


Theft of Swords
Theft of Swords by Michael J. Sullivan

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



The King is dead.

The Prince is missing.

Two Thieves have escaped.

Blame hovers like the executioner’s axe. The Prince and his Paupers are on the run, hunted by once loyal soldiers. But, the two men he travels with are the best in the business. Royce Melborn, master thief with a past as dark as his mood, and Hadrian Blackwater, veteran swordsman and general do-gooder. Together, Royce and Hadrian work as Riyria, a reputable front for dirty deeds.

Where do they go, when there’s nowhere to run to? Guarding a Prince, paid by a Princess, framed for killing the king…what’s next? The return of an ancient wizard?

There’s no other way to put it, but, there really is such a thing as being in the wrong place, at the wrong time.


Michael J Sullivan’s ‘Theft of Swords’ is the culmination of two of his originally self-published novels ‘The Crown Conspiracy’ and ‘Avempartha’, part of his 6-book-long Riyria Revelations series. Orbit picked up the rights and re-published the original 6 as a 3. ‘Theft of Swords’ is an adventure-bound, fantasy romp, with a page-turning plot and punchy delivery.

In ‘Theft of Swords’, Hadrian and Royce are initially hired to steal a nobleman’s sword from the King’s castle. No easy feat for the everyday cut-purse or burglar, but Riyria are known for the daring jobs. Only…things aren’t all as they seem. Thrown into the dungeons for the murder of the king, they are freed by an unlikely ally and paid a King’s ransom (see what I did there?) to spirit the young Prince away. Escaping one prison in search of another, the two Thieves are caught between doing what they’re paid for (a Princely sum! Ok, I’ll quit it now), and doing what’s right.

Hadrian and Royce are a joy to read. They embody the popular growth of what has become known as ‘bromance’. They bicker and they quarrel, they reminisce and they hope…the world is at their feet, and its theirs for the taking, but they have to decide which way to head first. Royce is your archetypical sullen grouch, with a history he’s none too willing to let on to, but one that has shaped him into a thief or world renowned skill. Hadrian is a veteran swordsman, having fought in countless battles, at the head of armies or in the back streets. The minor characters are also a joy, fully fleshed and breathing. They’re a joy to read about.

Sullivan writes with a simple yet speedy approach. It’s refreshing. The plot comes think and fast, the action sharp, the dialogue witty. The characters sold the stories to me, and how they exist and interact within the realm is a further testament to the immersion of the book(s). It’s nice to have a break from the ‘return of the ancient evil’ plot, or the ‘invasion of enemy forces’. Two friends, too many enemies, tonnes of adventure.

I have to say, I DEVOURED the series. I loved them. They were so easy to read, and I don’t doubt that I’ll re-read them before long. I smiled the entire way through, and they’re short and snappy enough to be read in furtive glances between stops on the London Underground train. There’s something for everyone with Riyria.

In a game of Hide and Seek, does a thief hide in the shadows, or seek the gold? Find out in ‘Theft of Swords’!




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Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Character Creation 101: Tags aka Dancing Shoes




     Tall or short? What about somewhere in between?

     Redhead, brunette, blonde…oh wait, I know. BALD!

     Two hands, two feet, two arms, two heads. There’s something not right here.

     We’re going to continue picking apart the characters in your novel(s) this week. Today class, we’re going to have a catwalk, of a-sorts. From last week’s roll-call of names, we’re going to move on to the full body mug shots.

     First impressions count, no truer than this in a story, book or series. When your character(s) take stage, that initial introduce will stay with the reader throughout. How you describe them is key, as it’ll make or break them. A character needs to be memorable, discernible, distinctive, and bloody well interesting to boot. This is where a lot of novels fall short, particularly in the fantasy genre. My girlfriend loathes fantasy, and I can see her understanding after we duked it out over a Starbucks coffee. To her, fantasy is a far too complex world, with far too complex factions, with far too complex variables of characters, complete with far too complex names to read aloud. Needless to say, I have to agree…particularly on the character front. Sometimes characters feel all too much like place holders, forgotten in the turn of the pages.

     This was a terminal I’d have to remedy if I ever hoped to have my girlfriend read my stories. That, or lure her along with promises of Dinner and Dancing (I’m not too bad a groover, I have you know!). She enjoys chick-lit (no surprise! But, then again so do I), but her reasoning is that they are easy books just to pick up and read, the characters memorable. Of course they’re going to be memorable, particularly the male lead. Tall, dark and handsome. Or, unkempt blonde locks, ocean-blue eyes and a dazzling smile. Well-built, rough around the edges, but gentle in all the rights places…enough about me, back to the 101.

     However, what I’ve said is true. These characters stand out for their ‘tags’. A ‘tag’ is an identifier for a single character, and sets them apart from the rest of the cast. ‘Tags’ can be a physical aspect, a trait, a habit, a saying, anything! Used effectively, a character can be recognised without even their name being said (written, in this case).

     Take for example:
     Waylander from David Gemmell’s Drenai Series – double winged crossbow, a trademark piece in itself.

     Logen ‘The Bloody Nine’ Ninefingers from Joe Abercrombie’s First Law Series – having nine fingers is obvious enough, but ‘the heavily scarred Northman’ with a penchant for knives (you can never have too many knives) head-butts his way into readers’ memory.

     Harry Potter from….obvious – a lightning bolt scar on his forehead.

     The Painted Man from The Demon Cycle by Peter V Brett - *SPOILERS* He’s a man…and he’s painted *SPOILERS OVER*.

     Draven Reinhardt from From Man to Man and It Began with Ashes by D E M Emrys – when stressed, bunches his bandana in his fists (selfless self-promotion).

     Kalekht Reinhardt from It Began With Ashes by D E M Emrys – grins, no smiling or beaming, just grinning. And it’s always mischievous, neither roguish nor feral, a mischievous grin…for mischief!

     Hopefully, I haven’t lost you here. The idea is that when a reader picks up on a single tag, the character comes to mind. It’s the appetiser in a way. A character shouldn’t have too many tags, or they’ll never become recognisable, but not having any at all is like having a blank canvas walk around your story. But then again, even a blank canvas has a tag, because it’s a BLANK canvas, not a painted or a ripped one. Right, before I confuse myself any more, I’ll leave it there.

     Anyway, I have to get find my dancing shoes, as I’m about to ask my girlfriend to read ‘From Man to Man’ before I finish it off.

Monday, 24 September 2012

Review: Hero in the Shadows


Hero in the Shadows
Hero in the Shadows by David Gemmell

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



The gate was locked under spell and sacrifice. Those gone were never to return.

The demons of Kuan Hador were banished from the world thousands of years ago. The mystic warriors the defeated the evil are lost to history and the grave. When Man is gone from life, Man does not return.

Now, mists of ice, and beasts of mist lurk in Kuan Hador. The ancient spells are fading.

Gone are the days of the demons, and gone are the Men that stood against them. Few stand against the gate. Kysumu the swordsman, of the line that defended the world in a distant era. Yu Yu Liang, a ditch digger. Ustarte, the priestess. And the Grey Man, a man thought gone who did not stay that way.

Things never truly stay gone, and such is the way with a man that cannot die. But, the Grey Man will kill him.

He has to. For the Grey Man is the traitor who killed the king, the Prince of Assassins.

Waylander is back.


David Gemmell’s ‘Hero In The Shadows’ is the final tale featuring Waylander, in the Drenai saga. Sequel to ‘Waylander II: In the Realm of the Wolf’, the novel gives a change of place and name to Waylander’s story, furthering his motivations and the development of the legendary Prince of Assassins.

After ‘Waylander II: In The Realm of the Wolf’, Waylander has turned his back on the lands of the Drenai, travelling to new shores in an effort to start again. Now, known to the locals as the Grey Man, he is seen as the rich foreigner, an elusive outsider that the other nobles and merchants can benefit from. But, when a group of Mercenaries attack a village on the Grey Man’s land, Waylander takes to the hunt. Waylander is not the only killer on the prowl, as an icy mist lurks from Kuan Hador, a city forgotten to time. Heroes, be they from the shadow or the light, are drawn to Kuan Hador to face the return of an old enemy.

Waylander returns with an old friend, and the scars both mental and physical of a life hard lived as an assassin. New additions to the cast Kysumu and Yu Yu Liang come from the pre-established land of the Chiatze, a richly envisioned realm with a heavy oriental influence. And, in regards to enemies, Waylander has fought demons and beasts before, but facing Demon Lords is a hardier foe than anything that the Prince of Assassins has ever matched.

Gemmell writes with a cinematic grandeur in ‘Hero In The Shadows’. As ever, the dynamic fight scenes are simple but deadly, painting a picture in blood rather than over-the-top descriptions. Waylander’s an old veteran of his craft, and Gemmell is the master of his own, and the familiar motions are as well-oiled and greased as the mechanisms of a crossbow.

Gemmell’s stray towards the fight against a ‘Greater Evil’ rather than the struggle of Man Vs Man is an escalation from the other Waylander novels, but it’s a fitting evolution for the Prince of Assassins. After all, Waylander has proved himself time and time again against mortals, so it’s only right that he pit his skills against a worthy opponent. As a fan of Gemmell’s work, and having read all of the Drenai books, it’s awe inspiring to see the author ‘tip his hat’ to tales set in the same universe, though a different time. Without saying too much, several characters appear in his other stories including ‘Winter Warriors’ (see my review here: http://written-with-a-sword.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/review-winter-warriors.html), and the books of The Damned ‘White Wolf’ and ‘The Swords of Night and Day’.

‘Hero In The Shadows’ closes the book on Waylander’s story, but can an Assassin ever have a happy ending?




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Thursday, 20 September 2012

Author Interview & Feature: MARK LAWRENCE!



     It’s one thing to make your readers smile, laugh or even cry. But, to inspire revulsion, abhorrence, outrage…that’s a whole other story. It’s a morbid fascination that keeps the pages turning, word a blur as you descend into the depths of depravity. Good and evil, black and white. But, when there’s little good and a hell of a lot of black, that sick obsession needs its fix.

     Mark Lawrence is a dealer to this addiction. He writes with a dark intellect; witty to the macabre, each line laced with a bittersweet poison. What makes his stories so delightfully compulsive is that he dares to tread the thin line between what can be said, and what should never, ever, ever, even be thought. At the reins of a first person Point-of-View, the reader is not just invited to the blood written tales of his creation, but dragged along, kicking and screaming. Combine a poetic psychopath with a power-hungry philosopher, and you have Mark Lawrence’s leading man.

     Prince Honorous Jorg Ancrath…The Prince of Thorns.

     Mark has so far released two novels from the ‘Broken Empire’ Trilogy, these being ‘Prince of Thorns’ and ‘King of Thorns’. I’ve reviewed them both at earlier points (check back over my blog for the full features) but here’s a snippet of both reviews:


     ‘Is it true that we need to be broken before we can be reborn? No. But bleeding can sure do the trick.
     Thorns can bleed you better than a knife. Briar thorns so deep they hook to the bone. Where a knife goes in and out, you go in and out of a thicket. The knife goes in, blood comes out. You go in…who knows what comes out? But, I did.
     Before the thorns, before the person that I am now, I was a son and a brother. I’m still a Prince, but I gave that up for the road. Being a son and a brother was taken from me. The thorns gave me a new family. Brothers, though not by blood, but they’ve spilled enough of it for me. Yet there’s more blood to run, and though I lost my old family, I still have a claim to the family fortune.
     And that fortune is a throne…’


     ‘In chess, there are pawns, knights, queens, bishops, and more. But, there are no Princes, so in this Game I have become a king. Chess is black and white, which suits me rather well. A black king. But where's the read? There should be red, a lot of it. A lot of red, a lot of blood. Because, I've played all my pawns for check mate.
     I've got one castle, one knight, a queen and a king on my side of the board. But, there's six boards against my one side. Surely that's against the rules? Why am I complaining, I've never been one for rules, or played nicely with others.
     Maybe being the king isn't all it's cracked up to be?
     ...But being a player is.’

     Despite the darker than dried-blood saga, Mark Lawrence is a genuinely nice guy. If I sound surprised, then I guess I am a little. It’s like when you’re a kid and you look up to Superman only to realise he’s just an actor (personally, I never looked up to Superman. Dude couldn’t even dress himself in the right order – I mean, pants…on the outside? Please! Wolverine was my personal favourite). Now, I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing that when I spoke to Mark Lawrence he didn’t immediately slaughter me (unless I’m being unwittingly groomed for that eventuality!), but I’d built him up to be a big nasty. Boy was I shocked when I found out that he was an awesome bloke, more than happy to chat with a star-struck fan! Mark is a father of four, one of whom is severely disabled. On his ‘About the Author’ he mentions himself as an allotment tender….scary stuff?!?

     So what makes a nicer than nice do-gooder turned to the dark side, besides for the cookies? Well, I was lucky enough to ask Mark a few questions!

     As a research scientist, your job is very much fact. Why then did you decide to write a fiction book, particularly fantasy?
Not an uncommon question but still one that strikes me as peculiar. Most people’s jobs involve fact. Who gets to sit around making stuff up for a living or not obeying the laws of physics? Absolutely no reason a research scientist shouldn’t write fiction, any more or less than a bus driver or hairdresser. A scientist is called on to be far more creative than most people are in their day job.
Fantasy was an early love of mine – I was read Tolkien at an early age.

     How did you get into writing, and how long have you been writing for?
I started writing scenarios for dungeons and dragons games when I was eleven. I ran a fantasy play-by-mail game for a year between my physics degree and my Ph.D and continued to run it in my spare time for the next ten years.
When I moved to the States and stopped running the PBM game I started writing short stories for fun. Short stories grew into longer stories.

     What(who?) inspires and influences your writing?
Everything and nothing.

     Is fantasy your first love, in regards to writing?
It was my first love as a reader and as a writer but I write sci-fi, horror, literary fiction as the mood takes me.

     Now, tell us a little bit about your debut novel, 'Prince of Thorns'?
A violent sword and sorcery romp with deeper under-currents and a lyrical edge, inspired by Burgess’ A Clockwork Orange.

     Did it live up to your expectations?
It wholly exceeded them. I just wrote it for fun with no plans to try for publication.

     Why so dark, why all the blood?
Why anything? It’s like me rolling a die and you asking ‘why 5?’. I just started typing and that’s what came up. My writing process is rather like rolling dice. The inspiration for this particular tale always meant there was going to be more than a touch of ultra violence.

     Prince Honorous Jorg Ancrath...where he did come from? What spawned him in your mind?
Burgess’ protagonist in A Clockwork Orange is violent and amoral and does terrible things, and yet we find ourselves drawn to him because of his charm. I wanted to try that in a fantasy setting.

     Jorg philosophizes, and quotes many of the greats (Plato, Aristotle). Is this a reflection on yourself?
Well clearly I know a little about philosophy or I couldn’t have written about it. And clearly I quote philosophers (I did it in the book). But no, if you find yourself in conversation with me I am highly unlikely to start throwing in philosophical references.

     Can you reveal anything about the third and final book in the Broken Empire series?
Not a lot! It fills in some of the gaps between the two threads in King of Thorns as well as moving forward from the latter thread toward what’s hopefully an exciting and satisfying conclusion.

     Do you plan to revisit the world set out in the Broken Empire, or will the end of trilogy close the door?
I would like to return to the setting – though not to Jorg. There’s a power in knowing when to stop. I don’t plan to revisit Jorg. I want people to put down the last book of the trilogy wanting more, not to put down book 9 of an endless series thoroughly bored of him.

     What's next after the third novel?
What’s next is seeing if anyone will ever publish me again. And if not, then going back to writing for myself on the weekends.

     Any advice to would-be writers out there?
There’s no would-be about it. Start writing and you’re doing it. If you enjoy it then that’s reward enough in itself and everything else is a bonus. If you don’t ... then stop.

     Lastly, do you have anything that you'd like to say, anyone you'd like to thank? Any pearls of wisdom? (Or threats, in Jorg's case!)
Nope, I’m good. I make my thanks along the way. I’ll leave you with a Jorgism.
You’re either part of the solution or small and bloody chunks of the problem.

     And that, ladies and gentlemen, is that! Thank you Mark for taking the time to answer my questions, and thank you readers for stopping by! Both ‘Prince of Thorns’ and ‘King of Thorns’ are available to buy as ebooks and paper/hard backs in all major book stores! If you want a book to get you hooked, then be sure not to miss out!

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Writing Update 4: Busy Times



     Time flies. I obviously missed the boarding call as I’m stick stuck in customs, snowed under by duty free sunglasses and Toblerone, trying to recover my ticket from the Haribo-High pre-teen who stole it from the not-so-legal frequent flyer hiding in the flower pot. Time is not a luxury that any of us can afford. First class is a king’s ransom on the clock, business class would be welcomed for the trade of minutes and seconds…if only we could get on the ruddy plane to ‘More Hours in the Day’ in the first place!

     Busy isn’t the half of it.

     But excitement is.

     Before I start, let me just tease you with a tid-bit of titillating trivia. Mark Lawrence, yes THE MARK LAWRENCE, published author of both ‘Prince of Thorns’ and ‘King of Thorns’ was gracious enough to sit down and answer a few of my questions. The interview (via email) will take up the feature slot on my blog, tomorrow. Be sure to check back for it.

     In regards to my own writing, it’s not going too badly. Work on ‘From Man to Man’ is almost complete, and I am um’ing and ah’ing whether to release the complete short story as a ‘free forever’ download across the web e.g. Smashwords, Amazon, Lulu etc. ‘It Began With Ashes’ is now in its final stages, the front cover is all but complete, I’m due to order the ISBN numbers, format the galley to ‘ebook friendly’, somehow plot a map, and complete a final test read. Sounds a lot, but things are looking positive for an October release. Work on ‘It Began With Ashes’s sequel has been stalled in the events of current, but at 35,000/50,000 words (approx. total) it shouldn’t take long to complete the first draft once I sit down with it again.

     All of my future titles, though self published, are due to be released under the publishing house ‘Four Branches’ – a company run solely by myself at this time. Long term, one of my dreams is to establish a publishing house to publish other authors, and if this is the first step towards that goal, then I’m psyched!

     Next week’s book review will close the door on David Gemmell’s ‘trilogy’ featuring the legendary Waylander. ‘Hero In Shadows’ is the final instalment featuring the assassin, and it’s kept me turning pages since I opened the book less than a week ago.

     All in all, it’s busy times, but business is good. You’ll all hear from me tomorrow, and be sure not to miss it as Mark Lawrence’s feature and exclusive interview will be on the headlines!

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Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Character Creation 101: It's All In The Name


     Time for another Creative Writing 101, but this time I’d like to focus on something a little different. I had thought to write an entry dedicated to Character Creation for novels, but that in itself is a hugely diverse topic to explore (and I’m going to need a lot more coffee than I have to do that!). So I’ve decided to take baby steps…or at least keep the training wheels on a little longer.

     Let’s start simple. This might be teaching some of you to suck eggs, and in no means is it meant to. This entry is purely designed to highlight a few points, hopefully share my own experiences, and provide a few laughs (at my own expense, of course!).

     What do you call your characters?

     Potentially, this can be one of the hardest parts of writing. Imagine yourself a parent, a proud mother or father (both? If you’re that way inclined!) to a newborn babe. Your child has its whole life to look forward to, anything is possible! Now, imagine if Cletus was to become President, or Montgomery was destined to like the skin off of KFC…you get my point. Names define your characters, and if you can’t find one that ‘doesn’t quite fit’ you’ll be umm’ing and ahh’ing over the character as you write instead of doing the important thing…the ACTUAL WRITING.

     A name has to fit the character’s personality. This sounds obvious enough when you consider Druss from David Gemmell’s works. The name is short, sharp, simple, but most importantly: blunt. Druss is a ‘what you see is what you get hero’. Axe first, politics later. His name suits him to the bottom of his iron-shod boots. But what if we were to call him…Bob? Need I say more?

     Names need to stick to the theme of the story, and where each character comes from. Take Arlen Bales and Leesha Paper from Peter V Brett’s novels ‘The Painted Man’ and ‘The Desert Spear’. Each from village backgrounds set in a fantasy-medieval world, the names suit their origins. The theme of the story in this case being the setting = fantasy-medieval, where the characters come from being their respective villages.

     The same could be said for the time frame setting. I’ve yet to meet a ‘Sean’ in an Ancient Roman novel, nor an Odysseus in a crime thriller (though that’d be wicked! Time to add that to the ‘to do’ list).

     Names don’t just need to be pronounceable, they need to be memorable. This is a massive oversight particularly in fantasy, where writers squeeze as many vowels into a character’s name as possible. Eieieiouaiue is a damned sight hard to read, let alone say, though it’s memorable (better luck trying to spell it from memory though). Sure, our axe-wielding hero Bob might be pronounceable enough…but truly memorable? I know a ‘Bob the Builder’ and a ‘Bob the Axeman’.

     Think of your favourites. I dare you! Go on – and no peeking, no checking. If you read this, respond with 3 names, yes 3, from 3 of your favourite books. So that’s 9 names in all. Now, ask yourself if it was the character’s actions, the story, or the name itself that helped you remember them.

     Personally, the most memorable name in my mind is one from TV…

     Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock. Honest, it’s not something I’ve just made up. It was on ‘Friends’.
Might just call one of my kids that…wonder if they’ll make President? (NOT LIKELY – I LIVE IN THE UK!)